Today is the first day of school for KidThree. After that, she has an orthodontist appointment and then we have group. Today I'll go in with her to group to give the information on the SCI gym; next week KidThree can be at group on her own again.
KidTwo had a very funny entry yesterday on her online journal. She listed the pointless things she had done at her job to fill the time, then said, "Dad doesn't think this job challenges me enough." Dad is right! KidTwo has such energy and is so quick to complete tasks; civil service folks just aren't used to employees with her abilities. I pity the supervisor who isn't ready to keep her busy and contributing.
Yesterday was a good relaxing day. Six loads of laundry, as of course that never, ever ends, but lots of reading and lots of chocolate. I read John Lescroart's latest, "Betrayal," and enjoyed it. I had goofed, though, and reserved the large print copy. Blast. I hate reading large print--it feels as though the book is shouting at me. Sometimes, when I make that mistake, I just give the book back without reading it and then reserve the regular copy, but John Lescroart is one of my favorites, so I just read the darned thing.
"Betrayal" was good, but not so good as some of his others. Sometimes, authors who are writing about continuing characters can get lazy and write on auto-pilot. Lescroart doesn't appear to be doing that, but he is reducing the importance of his primary characters, making them secondary characters at best. In a couple of his other books, he had former secondary characters as the primaries, which I quite enjoyed. It was like getting to know acquaintances better, with them becoming friends. In this book, he didn't do that: the characters/victims in the legal conflict were essentially the primaries. It was good, and interesting, but I felt the lack. It just felt odd. But still, good, and the plot was complex and plausible, as usual. Lescroart does have us spoiled. (But, John, Frannie is always such a one-dimensional character, with stereotypical reactions. Not my favorite character in fiction.)
Then I read, "The Game of My Life," by and about Jason McElwain, the autistic teen who had a wonderful, inspirational experience with his basketball team when a senior in high school. It was good. It went back and forth between Jason's voice and members of his family and community, giving a well-rounded presentation of this young man and his life. I enjoyed that thoroughly.
Then I started the biography of Charles Schulz, but only just. No comments yet, except to say how much I have loved "Peanuts" my entire life.
And that is it for this morning, as KidThree is going to need some help facing the day this early, after an entire summer of sleeping in.
A
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
School Is All Ironed Out.
KidThree is going to stay at the continuation high school. This for so many reasons: her emotional stresses right now, her educational gaps, the ability of the staff at this school to watch for strangers and so protect KidThree from anyone who tries to harm her. And the reality that she is just not going to graduate with her age-mates next year.
When KidThree and I got in the car and headed out, she hadn't known that the meeting was at the continuation school instead of the big high school. She only realized that when I turned left instead of right at a particular corner. By the time we got in the conference room with all the others (counselor, nurse, psychologist, teacher, principal), she was utterly unable to say a word when she was asked a question. Too many memories of her friend who died, too much stress from the weekend, etc. So, I hustled her out of the room into the staff room in the back, got her tissues, and went back to talk to the others myself. I was able to explain everything that was going on, KidThree's frantic weekend on the phone trying to keep her mother and sister from killing each other, the stress of the looming trial, the overwhelming nature of KidThree's memories of her friend at that school. All were blown away by the family kerfluffle. All the professionals except the psychologist knew us and have known us for some time, so they were shocked but not shocked--so understanding of how KidThree was so devastated by fear and love for her family, and understanding that KidThree, despite all her issues, was really the most functional person of that particular bio-clan.
We have goals for the year. Get holes in KidThree's math education plugged up, so that the next school year she is ready to start math at a junior college, albeit math at a high school level. Get her able to put down on paper the complexity of the thoughts she can verbalize--KidThree can see the most complex psychological minutiae in things that she reads, and can explain her understanding, but she can't get those complex thoughts organized well on paper. She can certainly get down an approximation of what she wants to say, just not anything that represents the depth of her understanding.
Our goal for September is just to get her to school every day and to keep her protected through the trial. I was so relieved at the end of that meeting. There was such real care and concern in that room for my beloved KidThree, for her well-being and her future and her safety. All seemed truly dedicated towards using this coming school year to best prepare KidThree to continue on her rocky, halting road to adulthood and self-sufficiency and an education worthy of her excellent mind. Thank goodness for people who truly love their work with kids.
An hour and a half after that meeting, PastorJ came over to talk with KidThree. KidThree wasn't quite sure why he was coming over, so I reminded her of the conversation where she had expressed the desire to talk with someone, to get her head straight, to get right with God. KidThree still is sometimes surprised that I am paying attention to everything and taking action wherever I can to make things better. She was a little annoyed with me when I asked PastorJ over the phone what I was to call him, Pastor or J or something else, and with my explanation to him that I didn't know the etiquette, as with Catholicism all priests are Father and that is that. PastorJ didn't mind a bit, he laughed and told me he preferred to be called J, but that yes, some congregants did call him Pastor.
I cleared out and went to the library after his arrival. KidThree does tell me most things, but I know she tries to shield me from the worst and no one should have their conversations with ministers overheard. After he left and I came home, I just asked, "did you like him," "are you glad he came," and "would you like me to take you to his church?" The answer to all was a slightly surprised "yes." So, church on Sunday for KidThree. I told her she could get every second Sunday there with me; she also wants to try to get into a truck or SUV to see if she can get rides to church with someone else on the other days.
At the library, I had fun in the biography section. I found the new biography of Charles Schulz, which I had been wanting to read, as well as several other interesting books. The prize, though, was Bill Bryson's "Shakespeare: The World as Stage." I was so tickled! Bill Bryson is one of my favorite authors, and Shakespeare, of course, is not even on the favorites list--he is way off in the stratosphere above all others. Bill, you're one of the few authors where I will buy your books new, retail--you actually get royalties from me! Let me tell you, there aren't many authors out there who get royalties from my purchases. (My definition of rich is having enough money to buy every book I want, hardcover, full retail price. The heck with cruises and fancy cars--I want books.)
I was so tickled at the chance to see what Bill would have to say about Will, and it was a lot of fun. I finished the book in one straight read. Bill was very circumspect, making it clear that what we truly know about Will is so limited, but putting very clearly the magic that was Shakespeare's ability to waltz and jig and tarantella his way through the English language. But Bill, I really do want to believe the Shakespeare poached something from that august neighbor. Having a deer park set up the year after Shakespeare's apparent disappearance doesn't mean there weren't deer there before, just that they weren't formally parked, and then there were those funny, lewd, disrespectful couplets about that august neighbor. I know we can never really know, not unless something else is dug up from the treasure trove of old documents not yet scrutinized, so I am going to keep myself happy and believe that Shakespeare really did get into trouble from poaching and adding insult to injury with the disrespectful poems.
You know what would be seriously entertaining? To have Will meet Bill. I think Will would like our Bill, and that the two of them together in a pub would be priceless. I would never clear out to give that conversation privacy--I would be all ears. And wearing a wire.
Necessary flashback here to the kerfluffle in the 'hood. It appears that KidThree's bio-mother and bio-mother's wife will be going back to jail on parole violations and that KidThree's younger brother, already a career criminal, is destined for a group home, if he doesn't choose to go on the run instead. KidThree's sister and 'brother-in-law' are still in hiding with their baby, and there have apparently been payments to various people for them to find and then kill the brother-in-law. Neither KidThree nor I are particularly concerned about the brother-in-law, but we don't want the sister or the baby caught in any crossfire. What a stupid, stupid, stupid mess.
Last night KidThree and I watched coverage on the Democratic Convention. We saw Caroline Kennedy Schlossberg's speech about Teddy Kennedy, then Teddy Kennedy's speech, and then Michelle Obama's speech. I thought all were utterly excellent. Of course, this is the group I want to win the election, but I think even objectively all the speeches were excellent. I'll also be watching the Republican Convention and hope I can be objective about their presentations.
KidOne came by for several hours and watched the speeches with us and told us about her first day of school. She is in a class that she has been waiting YEARS to get, literally. Man oh man, is California's junior college system underfunded. I do so enjoy our visits with KidOne. She is such a poised young woman, so beautiful and articulate and vibrant. I look at her and think back on her difficult adolescence and am awed to see how she has triumphed and to think that I had anything to do with the creation and development of her utterly marvelous self.
Today various administrative concerns to address, and KidThree has an eye exam. That is all. A good day to relax a little after the stresses of yesterday. I may even buy chocolate.
A
When KidThree and I got in the car and headed out, she hadn't known that the meeting was at the continuation school instead of the big high school. She only realized that when I turned left instead of right at a particular corner. By the time we got in the conference room with all the others (counselor, nurse, psychologist, teacher, principal), she was utterly unable to say a word when she was asked a question. Too many memories of her friend who died, too much stress from the weekend, etc. So, I hustled her out of the room into the staff room in the back, got her tissues, and went back to talk to the others myself. I was able to explain everything that was going on, KidThree's frantic weekend on the phone trying to keep her mother and sister from killing each other, the stress of the looming trial, the overwhelming nature of KidThree's memories of her friend at that school. All were blown away by the family kerfluffle. All the professionals except the psychologist knew us and have known us for some time, so they were shocked but not shocked--so understanding of how KidThree was so devastated by fear and love for her family, and understanding that KidThree, despite all her issues, was really the most functional person of that particular bio-clan.
We have goals for the year. Get holes in KidThree's math education plugged up, so that the next school year she is ready to start math at a junior college, albeit math at a high school level. Get her able to put down on paper the complexity of the thoughts she can verbalize--KidThree can see the most complex psychological minutiae in things that she reads, and can explain her understanding, but she can't get those complex thoughts organized well on paper. She can certainly get down an approximation of what she wants to say, just not anything that represents the depth of her understanding.
Our goal for September is just to get her to school every day and to keep her protected through the trial. I was so relieved at the end of that meeting. There was such real care and concern in that room for my beloved KidThree, for her well-being and her future and her safety. All seemed truly dedicated towards using this coming school year to best prepare KidThree to continue on her rocky, halting road to adulthood and self-sufficiency and an education worthy of her excellent mind. Thank goodness for people who truly love their work with kids.
An hour and a half after that meeting, PastorJ came over to talk with KidThree. KidThree wasn't quite sure why he was coming over, so I reminded her of the conversation where she had expressed the desire to talk with someone, to get her head straight, to get right with God. KidThree still is sometimes surprised that I am paying attention to everything and taking action wherever I can to make things better. She was a little annoyed with me when I asked PastorJ over the phone what I was to call him, Pastor or J or something else, and with my explanation to him that I didn't know the etiquette, as with Catholicism all priests are Father and that is that. PastorJ didn't mind a bit, he laughed and told me he preferred to be called J, but that yes, some congregants did call him Pastor.
I cleared out and went to the library after his arrival. KidThree does tell me most things, but I know she tries to shield me from the worst and no one should have their conversations with ministers overheard. After he left and I came home, I just asked, "did you like him," "are you glad he came," and "would you like me to take you to his church?" The answer to all was a slightly surprised "yes." So, church on Sunday for KidThree. I told her she could get every second Sunday there with me; she also wants to try to get into a truck or SUV to see if she can get rides to church with someone else on the other days.
At the library, I had fun in the biography section. I found the new biography of Charles Schulz, which I had been wanting to read, as well as several other interesting books. The prize, though, was Bill Bryson's "Shakespeare: The World as Stage." I was so tickled! Bill Bryson is one of my favorite authors, and Shakespeare, of course, is not even on the favorites list--he is way off in the stratosphere above all others. Bill, you're one of the few authors where I will buy your books new, retail--you actually get royalties from me! Let me tell you, there aren't many authors out there who get royalties from my purchases. (My definition of rich is having enough money to buy every book I want, hardcover, full retail price. The heck with cruises and fancy cars--I want books.)
I was so tickled at the chance to see what Bill would have to say about Will, and it was a lot of fun. I finished the book in one straight read. Bill was very circumspect, making it clear that what we truly know about Will is so limited, but putting very clearly the magic that was Shakespeare's ability to waltz and jig and tarantella his way through the English language. But Bill, I really do want to believe the Shakespeare poached something from that august neighbor. Having a deer park set up the year after Shakespeare's apparent disappearance doesn't mean there weren't deer there before, just that they weren't formally parked, and then there were those funny, lewd, disrespectful couplets about that august neighbor. I know we can never really know, not unless something else is dug up from the treasure trove of old documents not yet scrutinized, so I am going to keep myself happy and believe that Shakespeare really did get into trouble from poaching and adding insult to injury with the disrespectful poems.
You know what would be seriously entertaining? To have Will meet Bill. I think Will would like our Bill, and that the two of them together in a pub would be priceless. I would never clear out to give that conversation privacy--I would be all ears. And wearing a wire.
Necessary flashback here to the kerfluffle in the 'hood. It appears that KidThree's bio-mother and bio-mother's wife will be going back to jail on parole violations and that KidThree's younger brother, already a career criminal, is destined for a group home, if he doesn't choose to go on the run instead. KidThree's sister and 'brother-in-law' are still in hiding with their baby, and there have apparently been payments to various people for them to find and then kill the brother-in-law. Neither KidThree nor I are particularly concerned about the brother-in-law, but we don't want the sister or the baby caught in any crossfire. What a stupid, stupid, stupid mess.
Last night KidThree and I watched coverage on the Democratic Convention. We saw Caroline Kennedy Schlossberg's speech about Teddy Kennedy, then Teddy Kennedy's speech, and then Michelle Obama's speech. I thought all were utterly excellent. Of course, this is the group I want to win the election, but I think even objectively all the speeches were excellent. I'll also be watching the Republican Convention and hope I can be objective about their presentations.
KidOne came by for several hours and watched the speeches with us and told us about her first day of school. She is in a class that she has been waiting YEARS to get, literally. Man oh man, is California's junior college system underfunded. I do so enjoy our visits with KidOne. She is such a poised young woman, so beautiful and articulate and vibrant. I look at her and think back on her difficult adolescence and am awed to see how she has triumphed and to think that I had anything to do with the creation and development of her utterly marvelous self.
Today various administrative concerns to address, and KidThree has an eye exam. That is all. A good day to relax a little after the stresses of yesterday. I may even buy chocolate.
A
Monday, August 25, 2008
I'm Not Thrilled with the Level of Help on Blogspot.
FriendL was trying to find my blog and couldn't, even after a couple of suggestions from me, so I poked around a little on blogspot and found that I can't figure out how to find other blogs. Only mine. There is no 'search for other blogs' or 'search blogspot.' Am I missing it? Where is it? It appears that I can't access blogspot's help center without first negotiating their entire indecipherable mess of thousands upon thousands of different topics. What a pain in the neck. Why does the site not let me see the titles of other blogs? Or at least search for a particular blog? I do not understand. Fortunately, I'm used to the sensation; I so rarely understand anything that goes on beyond my four walls here that it won't cause me much distress.
Yesterday the twins' parents brought the whole family over for a visit and to iron out the details of our arrangement. KidThree held BabyTwo while I held BabyOne, and MissN explored. The babies are non-identical twin girls. Their faces have very slightly different shapes and BabyTwo has the darker hair, but as that hair is only visible from the back, it will take a little while for KidThree and me to learn to tell them apart as well as their parents do. MissN is just turned three; the babies are three months. They were premature, so their adjusted age is about six weeks.
It was lovely to hold BabyOne; she felt so good in my arms. KidThree was enchanted with BabyTwo and so at her most captivating on this, her initial meeting with the parents. This has the potential to be a very good arrangement for all. I am giving the parents an excellent deal on price, and they are giving me an excellent deal on flexibility, allowing me to take the babies along to all of KidThree's various appointments and such. They will pay me when the babies are not here (over Christmas break, for example), and I won't charge them extra when MissN comes along. She will come here when she has a bug and thus can't go to her regular daycare center. And of course the babies will get the most loving care they could get anywhere outside their own home. I am looking forward to all of that. We won't be rich, won't be able to buy big-ticket items, but we should be able to meet our monthly expenses and have enough left over for pizza and a movie occasionally.
The big drawback will be that I won't be immediately available to KidThree should she need help, for instance, if she runs into trouble at school. On the other hand, that could be a good thing, encouraging her independence and pushing her to figure things out for herself. It will be a very tricky dance--I hope it works.
This morning I watch LadyP from eight until noon, then come home to get KidThree and go to an IEP at her school (the continuation high school) to see if we can get her back to the main high school. KidThree can't so much as sneeze at school without an IEP because of her various disabilities. She has emotional and behavioral issues from her bio-mother's prenatal drug use and her own chaotic early life, as well as the physical issue of her paralysis. She gets better almost by the day, physically and emotionally, but she does have to work much harder at some things than the more ordinary kid. Of course the payoff is that she is so much more complex and fascinating the more ordinary kid, and has so much more to offer the world because of her extreme experiences.
I don't start watching the babies until the end of September, so we will have a good four weeks to get KidThree transitioned to the routine of school and to work our way through any problems that develop. The vice principal at the high school who was the biggest bane of our previous experience there has retired, to be replaced by a young man of a very different background. I have already been in contact with this new vice principal about KidThree, as have some other people, so he is ready for us and says he will do everything he can to facilitate things for us. I think he was a little concerned at first that I wanted KidThree coddled, which is most definitely not the case; he did seem relieved when I made that clear.
I explained to our new vice principal that our issues were not of wanting special privileges, just the necessary accommodation so that KidThree gets no special attention or causes no special problems when she arrives at a classroom. When KidThree attempted to return to this school after her months of hospitalization, the school failed her miserably. Things like not having the handicapped bathroom ready for her, even after I had checked it out and pointed out what she needed, and classrooms not having an accessible desk or table for her to use, one teacher handing her a clipboard in lieu of a desk, or a teacher trying to put her on the wrong side of the room (in addition to everything else, KidThree is legally blind in one eye and so needs that eye towards the wall and her good eye towards the teacher). I will probably go to school with her the first several days to ride shotgun for her, as it is still easier for me to tell adults that KidThree can't maneuver around a classroom easily enough than it is for her.
I don't mean that to sound as though KidThree is not able to stand up for herself or to state what she needs. She can. It is just that sometimes she has trouble controlling her temper when faced with bureaucratic thoughtlessness (as do I, but I have years more of practice) and other times the issue might be something that is just too embarrassing for her to bring up in public. As KidThree put it when explaining something to me, she is trying to present herself to the other kids as no different from them except that she never stands up, so she doesn't want anyone to present a litany of her disabilities in front of them. I think KidThree will only need help at the beginning and then should be fine on her own.
Thank goodness KidThree has her appointment with the pastor after that. She'll need it.
The kerfluffle in the 'hood continues. KidThree's bio-mother and uncle appear to be trying to have KidThree's sister's babydaddy/boyfriend killed for ostensibly robbing the bio-mother (he probably did, he is a lazy, amoral rat) and the sister wants to press charges against the bio-mother for assault and against the bio-mother's wife for shooting at her. What a family. The sister and boyfriend and their baby are hiding out at the home of one of his relatives and KidThree continues to try by phone to get all to calm down and see the long-term consequences of all of this stupidity. And on top of all this, the trial should be starting any day. If KidThree has a stroke from all this anxiety, I won't be at all surprised, just seriously put out.
Thank goodness KidThree has her appointment with the pastor. She needs it.
More Tomorrow, Same Blog Time, Same Blog Channel. . . .
A
Yesterday the twins' parents brought the whole family over for a visit and to iron out the details of our arrangement. KidThree held BabyTwo while I held BabyOne, and MissN explored. The babies are non-identical twin girls. Their faces have very slightly different shapes and BabyTwo has the darker hair, but as that hair is only visible from the back, it will take a little while for KidThree and me to learn to tell them apart as well as their parents do. MissN is just turned three; the babies are three months. They were premature, so their adjusted age is about six weeks.
It was lovely to hold BabyOne; she felt so good in my arms. KidThree was enchanted with BabyTwo and so at her most captivating on this, her initial meeting with the parents. This has the potential to be a very good arrangement for all. I am giving the parents an excellent deal on price, and they are giving me an excellent deal on flexibility, allowing me to take the babies along to all of KidThree's various appointments and such. They will pay me when the babies are not here (over Christmas break, for example), and I won't charge them extra when MissN comes along. She will come here when she has a bug and thus can't go to her regular daycare center. And of course the babies will get the most loving care they could get anywhere outside their own home. I am looking forward to all of that. We won't be rich, won't be able to buy big-ticket items, but we should be able to meet our monthly expenses and have enough left over for pizza and a movie occasionally.
The big drawback will be that I won't be immediately available to KidThree should she need help, for instance, if she runs into trouble at school. On the other hand, that could be a good thing, encouraging her independence and pushing her to figure things out for herself. It will be a very tricky dance--I hope it works.
This morning I watch LadyP from eight until noon, then come home to get KidThree and go to an IEP at her school (the continuation high school) to see if we can get her back to the main high school. KidThree can't so much as sneeze at school without an IEP because of her various disabilities. She has emotional and behavioral issues from her bio-mother's prenatal drug use and her own chaotic early life, as well as the physical issue of her paralysis. She gets better almost by the day, physically and emotionally, but she does have to work much harder at some things than the more ordinary kid. Of course the payoff is that she is so much more complex and fascinating the more ordinary kid, and has so much more to offer the world because of her extreme experiences.
I don't start watching the babies until the end of September, so we will have a good four weeks to get KidThree transitioned to the routine of school and to work our way through any problems that develop. The vice principal at the high school who was the biggest bane of our previous experience there has retired, to be replaced by a young man of a very different background. I have already been in contact with this new vice principal about KidThree, as have some other people, so he is ready for us and says he will do everything he can to facilitate things for us. I think he was a little concerned at first that I wanted KidThree coddled, which is most definitely not the case; he did seem relieved when I made that clear.
I explained to our new vice principal that our issues were not of wanting special privileges, just the necessary accommodation so that KidThree gets no special attention or causes no special problems when she arrives at a classroom. When KidThree attempted to return to this school after her months of hospitalization, the school failed her miserably. Things like not having the handicapped bathroom ready for her, even after I had checked it out and pointed out what she needed, and classrooms not having an accessible desk or table for her to use, one teacher handing her a clipboard in lieu of a desk, or a teacher trying to put her on the wrong side of the room (in addition to everything else, KidThree is legally blind in one eye and so needs that eye towards the wall and her good eye towards the teacher). I will probably go to school with her the first several days to ride shotgun for her, as it is still easier for me to tell adults that KidThree can't maneuver around a classroom easily enough than it is for her.
I don't mean that to sound as though KidThree is not able to stand up for herself or to state what she needs. She can. It is just that sometimes she has trouble controlling her temper when faced with bureaucratic thoughtlessness (as do I, but I have years more of practice) and other times the issue might be something that is just too embarrassing for her to bring up in public. As KidThree put it when explaining something to me, she is trying to present herself to the other kids as no different from them except that she never stands up, so she doesn't want anyone to present a litany of her disabilities in front of them. I think KidThree will only need help at the beginning and then should be fine on her own.
Thank goodness KidThree has her appointment with the pastor after that. She'll need it.
The kerfluffle in the 'hood continues. KidThree's bio-mother and uncle appear to be trying to have KidThree's sister's babydaddy/boyfriend killed for ostensibly robbing the bio-mother (he probably did, he is a lazy, amoral rat) and the sister wants to press charges against the bio-mother for assault and against the bio-mother's wife for shooting at her. What a family. The sister and boyfriend and their baby are hiding out at the home of one of his relatives and KidThree continues to try by phone to get all to calm down and see the long-term consequences of all of this stupidity. And on top of all this, the trial should be starting any day. If KidThree has a stroke from all this anxiety, I won't be at all surprised, just seriously put out.
Thank goodness KidThree has her appointment with the pastor. She needs it.
More Tomorrow, Same Blog Time, Same Blog Channel. . . .
A
Sunday, August 24, 2008
Bang-Bang-Bang in the 'Hood.
Yesterday there was a bit of a kerfluffle in KidThree's bio-family. It involved drug money, stealing, guns, bullets, real shooting, and so much anger. Poor KidThree spent most of the afternoon and evening trying to negotiate by phone with her mother and her sister. It is so hard to hear her in those situations. She is so torn, loving everyone involved, and so upset that they can behave so stupidly and without any apparent rational thought. It's like Al Pacino in "The Godfather," she keeps getting dragged back in.
Oh my. So today there won't be much but providing support to KidThree while she deals with all of that. Thank goodness she has that meeting tomorrow with that pastor; she needs the guidance and reassurance.
On the positive side, the living room looks terrific and so will the kitchen, once I've mopped the floor. With that, I can face another day.
A
Oh my. So today there won't be much but providing support to KidThree while she deals with all of that. Thank goodness she has that meeting tomorrow with that pastor; she needs the guidance and reassurance.
On the positive side, the living room looks terrific and so will the kitchen, once I've mopped the floor. With that, I can face another day.
A
Saturday, August 23, 2008
Watching Politics.
This morning Barack Obama finally disclosed his VP choice. Joe Biden. On the one hand, I really like and respect Joe Biden, but on the other hand, I think the visual is all wrong. Obama is running against McCain, an older, white-haired man. The contrast between Obama's relative youth and McCain's age is striking, every single time you see the two of them together. I think the choice of Biden mitigates that difference a bit: Biden is also an older, white-haired man. The visual of him with Obama strikes me as almost a capitulation to the belief that Obama is too young, too unseasoned and inexperienced, to run the country. But I do like Joe Biden. I had hoped for Evan Bayh (after the choice was whittled down to Biden, Bayh, and Kaine), if only because the visual of the two young (-ish!) men together, ready to direct their considerable energies towards solving the problems that face our nation and the world, was so attractive to me. I admit, it also would have been fun because my parents are godparents to Bayh's wife, so he is sort of in the family.
I wanted Joe Biden for Secretary of State. I wanted that man to be our Number One Diplomat, making up for Condoleezza Rice's incompetence and toadying. I wanted Biden to be the face of the United States around the world, a regular guy, a trustworthy guy, a guy so obviously in it to make things better and better in every way.
I used to want John Edwards to be Attorney General, as he had so much experience working against corporations for the benefit of the regular person in the street. When he left the presidential race so suddenly, and then was so quiet, I thought there was something that we weren't being told. His departure was so abrupt and his silence so deafening--there just had to be something behind it. Then the story broke about his mistress. Aha. The rat. (And you know what? That baby does look like John Edwards.) I was angry at him for betraying his wife, his family, and all of us. It wasn't so much the infidelity itself--although I hate infidelity more than almost anything--it was that he held himself up as above all of that, too good for that, too faithful for words. As I told KidThree, it was different with Clinton. There, we all knew he was a hound dog. We all were glad we weren't married to him or that our sisters weren't married to him, but we knew he was a hound dog and chose to overlook it because his strengths beyond that were so obvious. He didn't hold himself up as a model for marital fidelity and personal integrity. He was a hound dog, but he was our hound dog and we weren't married to him and we chose to overlook it. And now John Edwards' ego and libido lost us his considerable legal skills, which we could have used. I had wanted him for the Supreme Court after being Attorney General for a little while.
Now maybe we can have Bill Richardson for Secretary of State. I also really like Bill Richardson (and had liked the idea of him for VP). He is a terrific man, smart as anything, experienced in so many facets of government, and so far as I know a good guy.
It will all be interesting to watch.
Our computer here is infected, badly, and about to go at any time. Drat. I can't swing bringing the computer guy out here yet. He has KidTwo's computer all ready to come back home, but I will have to pay him for his work on that, and that money I don't have. I am so very tired of 'not having the money.' KidThree is starting school next week and absolutely has to look good--she has to have her hair and nails done. She has to look as good as possible in order to feel good enough to be able to go out the door and return to the big high school as a crippled kid in a wheelchair. Having her hair and nails done is equivalent to strapping on armor. It is important enough that the computers will have to wait, even if this one fails. KidThree will be facing a couple of thousand kids, many of them overtly hostile, and she needs every bit of reinforcement we can get for her.
Now time to go clean up the living room in preparation for our visit tomorrow from the parents of 'our' twins. I am looking forward to October. I'll be seriously busy, caring for twin babies, and limited in my ability to respond to the needs of KidThree as she works her way back at school, but our extreme poverty will effectively be ended. We won't be well off and won't be able to buy extras or even some more costly necessities, but we will be able to pay the rent and the electric bill and the cable bill and the phone bill and buy basic groceries. What a relief that will be.
A
I wanted Joe Biden for Secretary of State. I wanted that man to be our Number One Diplomat, making up for Condoleezza Rice's incompetence and toadying. I wanted Biden to be the face of the United States around the world, a regular guy, a trustworthy guy, a guy so obviously in it to make things better and better in every way.
I used to want John Edwards to be Attorney General, as he had so much experience working against corporations for the benefit of the regular person in the street. When he left the presidential race so suddenly, and then was so quiet, I thought there was something that we weren't being told. His departure was so abrupt and his silence so deafening--there just had to be something behind it. Then the story broke about his mistress. Aha. The rat. (And you know what? That baby does look like John Edwards.) I was angry at him for betraying his wife, his family, and all of us. It wasn't so much the infidelity itself--although I hate infidelity more than almost anything--it was that he held himself up as above all of that, too good for that, too faithful for words. As I told KidThree, it was different with Clinton. There, we all knew he was a hound dog. We all were glad we weren't married to him or that our sisters weren't married to him, but we knew he was a hound dog and chose to overlook it because his strengths beyond that were so obvious. He didn't hold himself up as a model for marital fidelity and personal integrity. He was a hound dog, but he was our hound dog and we weren't married to him and we chose to overlook it. And now John Edwards' ego and libido lost us his considerable legal skills, which we could have used. I had wanted him for the Supreme Court after being Attorney General for a little while.
Now maybe we can have Bill Richardson for Secretary of State. I also really like Bill Richardson (and had liked the idea of him for VP). He is a terrific man, smart as anything, experienced in so many facets of government, and so far as I know a good guy.
It will all be interesting to watch.
Our computer here is infected, badly, and about to go at any time. Drat. I can't swing bringing the computer guy out here yet. He has KidTwo's computer all ready to come back home, but I will have to pay him for his work on that, and that money I don't have. I am so very tired of 'not having the money.' KidThree is starting school next week and absolutely has to look good--she has to have her hair and nails done. She has to look as good as possible in order to feel good enough to be able to go out the door and return to the big high school as a crippled kid in a wheelchair. Having her hair and nails done is equivalent to strapping on armor. It is important enough that the computers will have to wait, even if this one fails. KidThree will be facing a couple of thousand kids, many of them overtly hostile, and she needs every bit of reinforcement we can get for her.
Now time to go clean up the living room in preparation for our visit tomorrow from the parents of 'our' twins. I am looking forward to October. I'll be seriously busy, caring for twin babies, and limited in my ability to respond to the needs of KidThree as she works her way back at school, but our extreme poverty will effectively be ended. We won't be well off and won't be able to buy extras or even some more costly necessities, but we will be able to pay the rent and the electric bill and the cable bill and the phone bill and buy basic groceries. What a relief that will be.
A
Friday, August 22, 2008
The Check WAS in the Mail.
But, of course, it was short by several hundred dollars. Goodness only knows why. For some reason, victim's comp decided to pay for only one of the slideboards I submitted a claim for, and didn't cover all of several other items. I don't know why and probably don't have a snowball's chance in hell of finding out. At least they coughed up some money. Now I can pay July's rent. In another week or so, I should be able to pay August's rent, and then September's rent might actually be in before it is considered late.
My dilemma now is whether or not to ask Mom and Dad to make the car payment again. I really should, as the car needs insurance and the electric bill needs to be paid, but oh how I hate asking. Hate it, hate it, hate it. The stupid thing is, if KidThree needed something that insurance would not cover and that item cost ten thousand dollars, Dad would have his checkbook out faster than I could specify why the item was needed. But several hundred dollars for a car payment? Why do I need that? Again? What was I doing with all my money? (Laundry, Dad, laundry.) Blast. Have I mentioned how much I hate this? But if they cover the car payment, I can pay the electric bill, get insurance on the car so that I can get the car's registration renewed, and let KidThree get her hair and nails done before school starts (something that is vital for her emotional health).
KidOne told me several days ago that she had been talking with the mother of a friend of hers, a woman who is very active in the community and with charitable organizations. She had known that KidOne had a paralyzed sister but hadn't realized all that was behind the paralysis and how our economic lives got shattered almost as badly as KidThree's poor vertebrae. When KidOne explained all, the friend's mother said, in the best Mickey Rooney fashion, "we should have a fundraiser!" The thing is, that is what this woman does. She does fundraisers. She knows how to fundraise. What a connection. At this point, I'm ready to put KidThree out on the corner with a tin cup, so a real fundraiser would be marvelous. And we actually know of an organization that assists people with fundraising for people with catastrophic injuries. So, research to do on the issue, but I am seriously interested in going to the public and begging for funds.
I sort of asked for help once before, but only from family and a couple of close friends. Since KidThree was shot in the stomach (that one bullet did a LOT of damage to my girl), she was for obvious reasons unable to eat for some time, and then was not able to eat much. She ended up losing forty-five pounds. (I called it "The Gunshot Diet: Weight Loss for Those for Whom All Other Diets Failed." Its corollary diet was the "My Kid Got Shot" diet, which took thirty pounds off of me.) Most of her clothes no longer fit her, and many of them were also unsuitable because life in a wheelchair demands certain things from a wardrobe, like snug pants that don't get twisted around when KidThree transfers to or from her chair. I sent out an email explaining the need for help to my siblings, three of the four of whom are well off, and to some cousins and a couple of friends. The response was less then wonderful. My most poverty-stricken friend, a woman who suffered from her own catastrophic illness ten years ago and has been disabled and living at the poverty level ever since, came through in spades with brand-new trendy name-brand pajamas (I had specifically mentioned the need for pajamas, as KidThree was in bed so much). My one sibling who is NOT well off came through with an entire box of clothing she gleaned from her local thrift stores, and one cousin who has no children of her own came through with a check. That was it. Man oh man, did I appreciate those who responded, but what the heck happened to everyone else? It really struck me that two of the three who responded to my plea were the two with the lowest incomes, both of whom were struggling single mothers. Maybe they were the only ones who understood just how crippling the lack of a few dollars could be.
I also went to KidThree's bio-family once for help. They have been very big on reminding KidThree of the importance of 'family,' clearly meaning themselves and not KidThree's incorporation into our family here, but hadn't lifted so much as a finger to do anything to help. Towards the end of last year, KidThree expressed an interest in returning to church, specifically, to the church her auntie used to take her to. Going to this church entailed getting a new outfit, as all dressed to the nines there and KidThree wanted to look good. She knew she would get stared at and made much of, which she was dreading; looking good would at least help her get through it. So, I asked her auntie (the churchmember) if her family could contribute a church outfit, or funds for a church outfit, so KidThree could return to church. The auntie was so friendly, so sure that all her family would love to give her money, she would take care of everything, she would contact her sister and her brothers and some in-laws and everyone would be so glad to help KidThree feel good enough to go back to her home church and what stores did we usually shop at so she could get a gift card with the donated funds.
Then nothing. Not a word. Not a penny. Christmas came and went and KidThree did not make it back to church. A little while later, I was able to get her a nice outfit and she returned to her auntie's church once, where she was noticed and made much of and fussed over by all who were so glad to see her out in public and alive and sharing church with them. And then silence again. Hypocrites.
At any rate, I'm not going to the family again, not bio- and not adopted. This time, we'll beg from the public. Less embarrassing.
And, KidThree has a meeting Monday with the pastor of the church we had been invited to last Sunday. As I wrote before, KidThree didn't make it to the service but did make it to the coffee shop meeting in the evening, where she was able to meet the pastor. Over the past several weeks, KidThree has expressed a desire to get herself straight with God, I think because she is so afraid she will be killed when she goes to testify against her assailants. The poor kid. I am not religious but understand that she is and fully support her in that. I can take her to this church every other Sunday if she wants to go (I get the alternate Sundays with the Unitarians). The pastor can come over to our home and I will go out for coffee or something so they can have all the privacy they need and he can help my beloved girl feel better about all the things going on in her life.
I left a voicemail message this morning for the ADA, asking where we were in our wait for a courtroom. KidThree will have to testify for a day or two, a week or two into the trial. She has had death threats because she is testifying, and the jailed assailants have been offering substantial amounts of money to friends of hers if they can convince her not to testify. My parents offered to come with us for moral support, but she said no almost before they finished asking; the reason for her 'no' was that she didn't want them to get shot. "Mom, they're old and they can't run!" I am so proud of my girl. Anyone firing at her will have to shoot me first.
A
My dilemma now is whether or not to ask Mom and Dad to make the car payment again. I really should, as the car needs insurance and the electric bill needs to be paid, but oh how I hate asking. Hate it, hate it, hate it. The stupid thing is, if KidThree needed something that insurance would not cover and that item cost ten thousand dollars, Dad would have his checkbook out faster than I could specify why the item was needed. But several hundred dollars for a car payment? Why do I need that? Again? What was I doing with all my money? (Laundry, Dad, laundry.) Blast. Have I mentioned how much I hate this? But if they cover the car payment, I can pay the electric bill, get insurance on the car so that I can get the car's registration renewed, and let KidThree get her hair and nails done before school starts (something that is vital for her emotional health).
KidOne told me several days ago that she had been talking with the mother of a friend of hers, a woman who is very active in the community and with charitable organizations. She had known that KidOne had a paralyzed sister but hadn't realized all that was behind the paralysis and how our economic lives got shattered almost as badly as KidThree's poor vertebrae. When KidOne explained all, the friend's mother said, in the best Mickey Rooney fashion, "we should have a fundraiser!" The thing is, that is what this woman does. She does fundraisers. She knows how to fundraise. What a connection. At this point, I'm ready to put KidThree out on the corner with a tin cup, so a real fundraiser would be marvelous. And we actually know of an organization that assists people with fundraising for people with catastrophic injuries. So, research to do on the issue, but I am seriously interested in going to the public and begging for funds.
I sort of asked for help once before, but only from family and a couple of close friends. Since KidThree was shot in the stomach (that one bullet did a LOT of damage to my girl), she was for obvious reasons unable to eat for some time, and then was not able to eat much. She ended up losing forty-five pounds. (I called it "The Gunshot Diet: Weight Loss for Those for Whom All Other Diets Failed." Its corollary diet was the "My Kid Got Shot" diet, which took thirty pounds off of me.) Most of her clothes no longer fit her, and many of them were also unsuitable because life in a wheelchair demands certain things from a wardrobe, like snug pants that don't get twisted around when KidThree transfers to or from her chair. I sent out an email explaining the need for help to my siblings, three of the four of whom are well off, and to some cousins and a couple of friends. The response was less then wonderful. My most poverty-stricken friend, a woman who suffered from her own catastrophic illness ten years ago and has been disabled and living at the poverty level ever since, came through in spades with brand-new trendy name-brand pajamas (I had specifically mentioned the need for pajamas, as KidThree was in bed so much). My one sibling who is NOT well off came through with an entire box of clothing she gleaned from her local thrift stores, and one cousin who has no children of her own came through with a check. That was it. Man oh man, did I appreciate those who responded, but what the heck happened to everyone else? It really struck me that two of the three who responded to my plea were the two with the lowest incomes, both of whom were struggling single mothers. Maybe they were the only ones who understood just how crippling the lack of a few dollars could be.
I also went to KidThree's bio-family once for help. They have been very big on reminding KidThree of the importance of 'family,' clearly meaning themselves and not KidThree's incorporation into our family here, but hadn't lifted so much as a finger to do anything to help. Towards the end of last year, KidThree expressed an interest in returning to church, specifically, to the church her auntie used to take her to. Going to this church entailed getting a new outfit, as all dressed to the nines there and KidThree wanted to look good. She knew she would get stared at and made much of, which she was dreading; looking good would at least help her get through it. So, I asked her auntie (the churchmember) if her family could contribute a church outfit, or funds for a church outfit, so KidThree could return to church. The auntie was so friendly, so sure that all her family would love to give her money, she would take care of everything, she would contact her sister and her brothers and some in-laws and everyone would be so glad to help KidThree feel good enough to go back to her home church and what stores did we usually shop at so she could get a gift card with the donated funds.
Then nothing. Not a word. Not a penny. Christmas came and went and KidThree did not make it back to church. A little while later, I was able to get her a nice outfit and she returned to her auntie's church once, where she was noticed and made much of and fussed over by all who were so glad to see her out in public and alive and sharing church with them. And then silence again. Hypocrites.
At any rate, I'm not going to the family again, not bio- and not adopted. This time, we'll beg from the public. Less embarrassing.
And, KidThree has a meeting Monday with the pastor of the church we had been invited to last Sunday. As I wrote before, KidThree didn't make it to the service but did make it to the coffee shop meeting in the evening, where she was able to meet the pastor. Over the past several weeks, KidThree has expressed a desire to get herself straight with God, I think because she is so afraid she will be killed when she goes to testify against her assailants. The poor kid. I am not religious but understand that she is and fully support her in that. I can take her to this church every other Sunday if she wants to go (I get the alternate Sundays with the Unitarians). The pastor can come over to our home and I will go out for coffee or something so they can have all the privacy they need and he can help my beloved girl feel better about all the things going on in her life.
I left a voicemail message this morning for the ADA, asking where we were in our wait for a courtroom. KidThree will have to testify for a day or two, a week or two into the trial. She has had death threats because she is testifying, and the jailed assailants have been offering substantial amounts of money to friends of hers if they can convince her not to testify. My parents offered to come with us for moral support, but she said no almost before they finished asking; the reason for her 'no' was that she didn't want them to get shot. "Mom, they're old and they can't run!" I am so proud of my girl. Anyone firing at her will have to shoot me first.
A
Thursday, August 21, 2008
The Laundry Will Always Be With Us.
Ten loads today. Three loads of towels, three loads of sheets, two mattress pads, and two loads of clothes. It costs us around one hundred dollars a month just to do the laundry. I surely do miss having machines in the apartment. At least we have a good laundry room, and the college kids who live here don't do their laundry when I do ours. I almost always have the room to myself.
I re-read John Lescroart's "The Oath," which of course I enjoyed. I like the complexity of his plots and the reality and depth of his ongoing characters. His jabs at San Francisco politics are a hoot. San Francisco is my mother's (and grandmother's) hometown and we still have a lot of relatives there, so it's fun to read about it.
From the library, I just finished "America's Hidden History: Untold Tales of the First Pilgrims, Fighting Women, and Forgotten Founders Who Shaped a Nation," by Kenneth C. Davis. It was interesting to read, full of vignettes of the sort of people and incidents that the more ordinary history books don't discuss. Davis has a series, "Don't Know Much about. . . ," which I'll look up. I like to learn some of the little weirdnesses that have gone on in the shadows of history.
I just started "Lincoln and Douglas," about their debates. Those debates must be a hot topic now, as there were two separate books on the new non-fiction shelf about them. Either that, or it's a startling coincidence. Lincoln is someone I find endlessly fascinating; I look forward to learning some more about him.
Tonight KidThree and I are going to a meeting to kick off the local campaign against Proposition Eight. That is the proposition to restrict marriage in California to male-female couples only. I've never done anything political other than work as a pollworker and am looking forward to seeing how it all works. I don't know what we will be able to do, given our extreme poverty, but maybe there is something administrative we can do that won't cost us anything.
And now to have some coffee before that meeting.
A
I re-read John Lescroart's "The Oath," which of course I enjoyed. I like the complexity of his plots and the reality and depth of his ongoing characters. His jabs at San Francisco politics are a hoot. San Francisco is my mother's (and grandmother's) hometown and we still have a lot of relatives there, so it's fun to read about it.
From the library, I just finished "America's Hidden History: Untold Tales of the First Pilgrims, Fighting Women, and Forgotten Founders Who Shaped a Nation," by Kenneth C. Davis. It was interesting to read, full of vignettes of the sort of people and incidents that the more ordinary history books don't discuss. Davis has a series, "Don't Know Much about. . . ," which I'll look up. I like to learn some of the little weirdnesses that have gone on in the shadows of history.
I just started "Lincoln and Douglas," about their debates. Those debates must be a hot topic now, as there were two separate books on the new non-fiction shelf about them. Either that, or it's a startling coincidence. Lincoln is someone I find endlessly fascinating; I look forward to learning some more about him.
Tonight KidThree and I are going to a meeting to kick off the local campaign against Proposition Eight. That is the proposition to restrict marriage in California to male-female couples only. I've never done anything political other than work as a pollworker and am looking forward to seeing how it all works. I don't know what we will be able to do, given our extreme poverty, but maybe there is something administrative we can do that won't cost us anything.
And now to have some coffee before that meeting.
A
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