Busy Day Today.

KidThree spent the night at her mother's to get her hair done. KidFour spent the night here but was firmly uncommunicative. What fun.

Sleep, my most wondrous and blessedly peaceful refuge, finally failed me. Yesterday I took a nap where I had a dream that someone paid me $3,060 that they had owed me, and a $50 check had shown up in the mail, so I had money to spend and I spent it. I was so relieved. I brought all bills up to date, bought a couch, got the IKEA things on my wish list, and even had enough left to frame some of my prints. In actuality, it would take closer to $5,000 to do all those things--I guess dream money goes further. It was lovely. Then I woke up and drat it all was as broke as ever. Last night, I woke up at 3:22am and couldn't get back to sleep. Too much racing through my mind, and it just wouldn't quiet down. I should have given up and gotten up then to do laundry, but I was pigheaded and kept horizontal in the vain hope that sleep might revisit. It didn't. Now I am so tired, and on a day where there is a lot to do. Maybe I can squeeze in a nap between meeting the ADA and going out to babysit. That would be nice, and would give KidThree and KidFour a chance to talk privately. One can only hope.

Today KidThree and I meet with the Assistant District Attorney handling her case, which is currently scheduled to go to trial mid-July (although it's been continued several times already, so who knows). This meeting today is in response to a phone call made to me by a clerk in his office, wherein I told the clerk that if the ADA didn't introduce himself to KidThree and let her know what to expect in court, she was going to arrive in court and tell him off right in front of the judge. The only things we know about court proceedings are from what we see on tv, and while of course we know tv isn't realistic, every single show depicts prosecutors meeting with victims before trial to help reduce tensions and help them know what to expect. We deserve at least that courtesy.

I babysit this afternoon for a family where I pick their children up from school when both parents have to work late. This is one of those nights. After I get back home here, KidFour loads all her stuff up in the car and off we go to meet her father at the halfway point. That will be it for her stay here.

KidThree is very worried about KidFour's mental health and has asked questions repeatedly that lead me to believe she has strong concerns about KidFour committing suicide. I just don't know what to do there. I have no more resources to offer. The phone is cut off, the paper is cut off, the auto insurance is cut off, and my rent check is going to overdraw my account. KidFour's father believes he has to send only enough money to keep her in Top Ramen, and her mother is in almost the same financial straits that I am--there would be no real monetary help there. I've explained to KidThree that it isn't a case of not loving KidFour, but rather a case of simply not having anything at all left to offer. KidFour is a dead weight whom I can't keep afloat without sufficient help, and that help isn't forthcoming. What I have done is told both of KidFour's parents about these concerns and given some suggestions as to things they might try. Again, one can only hope.

What a ghastly mess that whole situation is. My only real hope is that KidFour's admittedly unhealthy and obsessive love for her boyfriend will keep her going while she gets through this difficult period in her life.

Another hot day today. It's still relatively early and there is a breeze, so all windows are open to catch as much fresh air as possible before I have to close things down.

KidTwo started her job at the embassy yesterday. She called to report on it and it sounded positive. I want to hear more after another day or two. The thought of my free-spirited, opinionated darling girl being a diplomatic paper-pushing flunky is just too funny for words. Fortunately for her, she also appreciates that irony and will try to keep her expressed opinions to a minimum.

Alrighty now--two cups of coffee down the hatch, so time for a shower and then to tackle the pile of laundry blocking my bedroom door. Got to get a few loads of that done by the time I have to go get KidThree for our meeting with the ADA.

A