My oh My,

I just read over the past posts. All I do is complain. And I had the nerve to gripe about KidFour being self-centered! Now we know where she gets it--from the side of her family that is connected to me. I'll try to at least cut down on the complaining.

Today is Wednesday. KidOne got her 'economic stimulus' check yesterday and so was able to pay me back the money I gave her for her car payment. Good. That means today I can go pay my auto insurance and do a little shopping. And laundry, after I get some quarters.

Yesterday afternoon I took KidFour back to her father's home. Uh oh. Turns out he was not expecting her back. Not sure what message he missed--I had sent him word and KidFour apparently thought she had communicated it to him--but missed the messages he did. I don't know where KidFour got the idea that the family down there (father, live-in, and her) were going to work to make things better. When we got there, Father told her flat out that she didn't get to stay, that things were just starting to get better there and he didn't want her to mess that up; Live-in was there and flat out hostile, not talking directly to KidFour but talking to me with curled lip when KidFour and Father were emptying the car. Oh lordie lordie lordie. I did feel for KidFour. She sat there like a deer in the headlights, eyes wide, completely stunned. I expect her father was not the only one who missed messages. KidFour is apparently going to have to go live with her mother, a prospect that for her is as inviting as going to live in a convent. How all that is going to work out, I just don't know. She does get to come here for her SAT's on Saturday, then away again. Prediction here: KidFour gets her poor stupid besotted and myopic boyfriend to 'rescue' her; they will run away together and try to make it on their own. And, KidFour will be pregnant before the summer is out. Her birth control pills aren't going to help her when she is down there and they are up here on the table next to her former bed.

What a ghastly mess. I just keep telling myself it is not something I can fix or help with. KidThree asked me yesterday if KidFour could come back if she promised to get a job. Told her no, that KidFour had made that promise and others before and kept none of them, so how could I expect her to do things any differently? I also told her that the only circumstances under which KidFour could return were if she brought me $5,000 in cash (what I've expended on her, combined with what I've lost in income because of her) with no strings attached, and I could still boot her out with a week's notice if she didn't conform to expectations. That won't happen, so she isn't going to return.

KidThree is, as you can see, utterly torn. She is so appreciative of the chance she's been given and she wants KidFour to have the same chance; she likes KidFour "when she's being my sister"; yet she resents the hell out of KidFour's intrusion into her space and KidFour's blatant disrespect to me. Truly a growth experience for KidThree to have to go through all this with KidFour and me.

Off to the shower now for me. Then to the drugstore for some supplies, and the grocery store for groceries, and then a morning spent in the laundry room. AND, before my shower, I'll put KidFour's bed on craigslist. Free to the first person who can come to pick it up.

A