August Is a Difficult Month.

It is so long, so hot, and so bereft of holidays. Thirty-one days of heat, one after the other, in a line that disappears into the shimmering waves of heat coming off the baking ground. Days of hiding in the dark, trying to avoid cooking, stretching days between laundry loads so as to avoid going outside to the laundry room.

Last night I had to give in and go out to do laundry. I waited until 9:30, after dark and after the heat had started to lift, at least a little, and then did only three loads. Just clothing. No bedding, no towels, just clothes. A young man was starting to do his wash as I was taking mine out of the washing machines. My wash was in three of the four machines; he had just loaded the fourth with his. I started to unload the first of my machines and told him it would be clear for him in just a minute. He was startled, I think, that I spoke to him, and said, "thank you," very nicely. What a pain in the neck generation gaps can be but probably they are necessary, somehow.

I'm almost done reading "A Thousand Splendid Suns." It is so good. So very, very good. When I read it, I am in Afghanistan, under a burqa, feeling the dust and the heat and the tension. A good August book, especially, to match the endless days of heat and more heat. What an incredible gift Khaled Hosseini has, and how hard and long he must have worked to turn out such a book. Mariam and Laila are so real, their relationship so true. What an amazing soul to be able to get inside the heads and hearts of women, where so many men cannot see. This is a book I will buy--used and in paper, but I will buy it.

In three more weeks, KidOne's rental is available and she will have her household goods moved out. Really she doesn't have much here, but it is enough to make my bedroom impassable. There are her bed and bureau, her clothes and her snake tanks. When they are gone, I get to arrange my bedroom the way I'd planned when we first moved here. I never did get that done, as KidFour arrived before we had finished getting things put together and then KidOne arrived and somehow my bedroom never got addressed. KidOne's bed went in there, and the tanks, and became the repository for all other things that hadn't yet found a home. When KidOne's things are gone, I can get my futon out of KidThree's room--the futon is folded up, but still taking up floor space and blocking wheelchair access to her closet. KidOne's bureaus are also in KidThree's room. One of the bureaus she is leaving; I will put a sign in the laundry room that it is free to a good home. The other bureau, the one I bought for KidFour after she arrived, will leave home with KidOne. KidFour didn't want to take it with her, but KidOne likes it and decided it fit her needs better than the other one she originally had (that is the one that can go to another home). When my futon and KidOne's bureaus are out of KidThree's room, I can finish making it wheelchair accessible. The past several days, I've been working on her desk area and the built-in bookshelves above the desk, but it is all moot right now as she can't get to the desk. Soon, though, she will be able to, and it will all be ready for her. Just in time for the beginning of school.

In my room, oh my. I can't wait. The full-size bed from the living room is moving into my room to become my regular bed, as we decided it would be better to have only a twin bed in the living room, to use less space. My twin futon will go in the living room, on a frame we buy from IKEA. That is already picked out. Then in my room I get to put the bookcases where they should live. My room shares a wall with the living room and another with the bathroom. Right now the wall shared with the living room is lined with bookcases that I'm using for storage cabinets--they are two bookcases deep, with the front set having no backs so that they function as fairly deep storage. They reduce the noise from the living room to almost nothing. I'll do the same on the wall shared with the bathroom--line it with the bookcases that are actually used for books. That way, I can go in my room and pretend that there is no one else around. My bed will be in there and one of the recliners and KidTwo's computer, which doubles as a television. It might be difficult to get me out of there once I have it put together. The only piece of furniture I need for that room that I don't have already is a file cabinet. Before KidThree got shot, I didn't need a full-sized file cabinet: my records all fit in one file box. Since the shooting, though, the paperwork of our existence has exploded all over. Medi-Cal, Social Security, In-Home Support, UCD Medical Center, Shriners, Kaiser. The court case, other legal issues, and so many resources to keep track of. Victim's Comp. Durable Medical Equipment. Service Dog programs. I definitely need a file cabinet, as my files boxes now number three and are full.

The trial appears to be on this time, but we're not holding our breaths. I spoke with our ADA, who said it won't actually start on Monday but not because of a continuance, just because of a dearth of courtrooms. We are waiting for one to become available. Within the byzantine rules of the system, they have to make one available to us on or before the 28th of this month. That is just what August is good for, more waiting. Waiting for the trial to start. Waiting for KidOne to get her belongings moved out when her rental opens up. Waiting for October.

In October, or actually, the last week of September, I start babysitting here at home. The babies are the twin daughters of a vet student and her husband. He has already finished school and is at work in the Bay Area, coming home for weekends and only occasionally during the week. They have a three-year-old daughter who is in a pre-school near our apartment here. MamaK will drop the babies off each day on her way to school and then pick them up on her way home. The pay will be enough to end our money issues here. We won't be rich, not by any stretch of the imagination, but we should be done with looking for loose change to get another carton of milk and figuring out just which loads of laundry are needed most urgently. What a relief that will be. The knowledge that our extreme financial crunch was only temporary (although while we are in it, of course it feels interminable) is the only thing that's kept me from driving in front of a train. I was not cut out to live this close to the edge day after week after month. But six more weeks? We can handle that. The babies will be here four days a week, four to eight hours a day. I'm hoping to still be able to stay with LadyP a couple of times a week, as I do enjoy her company so and know how much it means to her husband to be able to get away for a little while. That family plans one more big Thanksgiving together, then LadyP will go stay at a nursing home, as her condition is too far advanced for the family to handle at home. They had been looking at places up to fifty miles away, but decided in the end on one in the next town, just fifteen to twenty minutes away. I'm glad for that, as I would want to be able to visit LadyP occasionally.

Now off to do the dishes and then clean the bathroom. The heat has already started coming up, so I've closed all windows and turned on the a/c. If I don't do that housework now, it won't get done until tomorrow, as in this heat, I am only worth a darn in the morning. And tomorrow I need to clean and vacuum the living room.

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